Flurry of Randomness

*There is nothing fun about unions. So, Funions? Really?

*Drunk people are funny… and I don't mind taking care of them. J

*Why don't people read to me in the bath tub? I could really go for that. Some suds. Maybe a little "Cat in the Hat."

*Car Tag? Why? Is that entertaining? Yes, so says Ms. Sara King.

*So, religious folk frown upon pre-marital sex. Fair enough. Ok. I guess my question is, shouldn't we start arranging animal weddings? I don't about you, but a friend of mine and I decided that we can't abide by a steed of bastard hell-Westies. Something to think about... (and yes, I know "steed" was used inappropriately... it's an inside joke. Yes, they exist outside your little circle...)

*David Sedaris' "Holidays on Ice" is a hilarious read. Pick up it now! Sedaris is a comic virtuoso…

*Twins. I am ok with them. But now when one has an incredibly cool name and one has the most boring name on the planet. Example: Tallulah. And… (insert awkward look on face here)… Jane.

*I love a Starbucks with a Drive-Thru. They may take a thousand years… but it's still worth my $3.14. I forgive them.

*Pimps, listen up! Feed your whores… plump is the new pink.

*Actual discussion I over heard at the John Deere Store: "Oh yeah, our foreign exhange student is from Japan. Yeah, he's oriental, so you know he's small." Their friends quickly replied in a harsh tone, "Yeah, they all doin that thse days, those Chinese." What? Get small on purpose? Yes, they get small on purpose just to piss you're redneck, Nascar lovin' ass off. You prick.

*Ray Stevens in funny. I don't care what anyone says. He may be old and he may be very "Branson"… but he makes me laugh. "Guitarzan" is an achievement.

*When did the QC actually become cool? There is much to do here…Maybe it's because I go to school in Macomb. It's boring-ville and I am Mayor…

*Mr. Adam Lewis is a GENIUS Catch him next weekend in "Santaland Diaries"… he's a delight.

*I am in love with Bill Hick's "Dinosaur" argument. Look it up… it will stop any religious discussion in seconds.

*BORAT is worth the hype. Really. It's one of the funniest and most offensive movies I have ever seen. See it NOW!

*The Quad Cities arts scene disappoints me. For a community of artists that constantly bitches about the same old shit… they certainly don't support anything new. Perfect example? "Santaland" had terrible numbers during its first weekend… Sadness prevails.

*And finally… Check out Sean Leary's Barnes and Noble Best Seller "Every Number is Lucky to Someone." It's a triumph. You'll laugh, you'll cry… and the wonder why someone like him is not famous.

Have a greay day!